Reasons Why the English Language is Hard to Learn:

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into the sewer line.

16. To help with the planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it, English is a crazy language! There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in a pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. If we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. Why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese… So one moose, two meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you can comb through annals of history but not one single annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

My Memory

By Nora

I remember when my aunt Loubna taught me how to tie my shoes. It was a pretty long time ago, around when I was about three or four. I caught on to it pretty fast though. But now I have more creative and faster ways of tying them.

I remember it was during the day and my aunt was going to take me and my big brother Adam somewhere because my parents were working. Before that day my parents pretty much always tied my shoes for me or bought me shoes without laces. But I guess Loubna finally wanted me to learn to do it myself.

I was in the hallway by my soon-to-be room asking my aunt to tie my shoes for me, but she said, "You do it."

And of course I said, "I can't." But she said, "Try." So I tried and of course my not came out looking…cruddy. So then she tied them by crossing the laces and tucking one under the other then pulling tight. Then she made two "bunny ears" and then crossed those and tucked one of them under the other and pulled them tight. But then she untied them, and tied them again. And she did that over and over, also explaining to me how to do it. Eventually she told me to try, and when I did, I actually did it right.

When I did I was all happy and excited and of course Loubna acted like that too. I don't tie my shoes the same way she taught me anymore but I'm happy she actually taught me.

Remember

By Dylan

I remember when my father taught me how to ride a bike. We used to go to Ridgecrest, my brother also tagged along. We went to the empty lot next to the park. The first few weeks we were riding with training wheels. Then we took off the training wheels and rode like that for a few weeks.

We already know how to ride but we did not know how to ride without training wheels. Actually, we already knew how to ride with training wheels. I fell of about five times and my brother about ten times or less. I had a great time and it felt good to ride without training wheels.

Now today I do not have to use training wheels. My brother says," he has to use tanning wheels,' but I think he is lying. I stopped using training wheels when I was five or six years old. This event was fun because I now can go faster on my bike and I'm proud of that.

I Remember

By Emma

I remember when my dad taught me how to drive a quad. It was a sunny day we had just gotten our new quads. We went behind town to the alfalfa fields. First my dad showed me how it worked. Then I drove and he sat on the back and helped me. Then he let me drive all by myself. There was a big ditch in the road and I didn't want to go through it so I tried to go around. I guess I lost control and I ran into a telephone pool. My dad came and helped me get the quad started again. Then I drove again and nothing happened. When the sun started to go down we went home.

I Remember When My Mom Taught Me to Ride a Bike.

By Magie

I remember when my mom taught me how to ride a bike without training wheels. When she taught me how to ride one I was only five.

The first thing my mom did that morning she took the training wheels off. When I saw her taking them off I started to cry. She told me not to cry because she was going to help me ride one without training wheels. I said ok but I didn't want to. Then she told me to get my bike.

When I got my bike we went on the street. I was really scared. Then she told me to get on. I said that if she was going to hold on to me. She said yes so I got on. Bu t when I got on and started peddling she let go. I fell and I got blood on my knee. So I started to cry.

So I went in my house to take off the blood. But I still went outside to learn how to ride it. So then I got on the bike and my mom let go and I didn't fall. I was really happy of myself. So was my mom. Since then I haven't forgotten how to ride a bike.

When I Learned to Ride a Bike

By Nefer

I remember when my mom taught me to ride a bike with no training wheels. I was five when she taught me and I haven't forgotten how since.

I rode a bike with training wheels when I was three, four and five, then my mom taught me to ride without them. I was getting too big for my bike and my mom decided to get me a new one but with no training wheels. She told my dad I needed a new bike and my dad said he would take us to Ridgecrest the next weekend. When we went my mom got me a new bike, a helmet, and knee and elbow pads.

The next day I woke up and she took me a shower, got me dressed and put my protective stuff on and we went outside. She was holding me and I was pedaling until I told her to let go. When she let go I just tried to keep my balance and kept pedaling. I was riding my new bike. I was so excited!

Remember When I

By Katie

I remember when my teacher taught me to tie my shoes. It all started when I went to school. She said that we would learn to tie our shoes today. Then she said,'' But first we are going to say the alphabet''.

So we started to say the alphabet. A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J…ect. Then after all that was done she instructed us to get into a line. Once that was done she told us to untie our shoes. Then she told us she will tie one shoelace and we have to tie the other shoe. So she went around and tied just one of our shoes. After she did that she told us to try and tie our shoes.

So I bent over and tried to tie my shoes. I couldn't. We had this little play area and she told everyone that was successful to go and play. When she showed us the steps I thought I understood and could do it. Then when I tried I still couldn't.

Then at the end of the day my shoe was still untied. I bent over and tied my shoe. And without realization of it I was successful. I really thought it was kind of funny. It was like she knew that if she didn't tie my shoelace that I would do it.

Remembering!

By Samantha

I remember when my mom taught me how to ride a bike. I was four or five when she taught me. I was taught close to home. I learned with an old cruddy bike. It was during the spring. Every day I got dressed in a light jacket jeans and pads for my elbow and knees. My mom always gave me my helmet and helped me buckle it. Out our back gate there is a little dirt lot. My mom brother and I walked over there. She helps me get on and gave me a little. I sailed down the little hill. I got how to keep the bed steady, but I didn't get the part of stopping the bike. I didn't know what to do so I started to bail off the bike. My dad got a little tool for learning how to ride a bike. It hooks on the back of someone else bike. The idea is to keep a black bar in the center of the leader's bike. Eventually I got the hold of it. I went back to the dirt lot and rode a bike all on my own. I learned how to stop by slamming the pedals backward. I was proud to learn how to ride a bike. Now I race my brother.

I remember when…..

By Lupita

I remember when my brother Sergio taught me how to swim. Usually I spend the summer at my Nana's house. She lives in a mobile home park but it's really nice and fancy. One summer when I was about six my brother taught me to swim.

One summer Sergio decided to come with me to my Nana's house just to get away out of boring ol' town. Since it was summer we went to the pool a lot. However whenever we would go I would just stay in the shallow end. But, Sergio would just be a maniac and jump in repeatedly and is crazy. It amused me however.

However, when he noticed I always stayed where I could touch he said "Come over here with me". I told "No I can't reach". Then in that moment he noticed that I couldn't swim, then he said "Imma teach you to swim". We started about two days later because the next day he had work. It took about two day but I got it done. By the end I could swim in the deep end and jump off just like my brother. I was extremely proud of myself it was an amazing feeling.

Jonathan’s Fiction

By Jonathan

This story is not real. So don't think I'm a liar because I just said this isn't real. So I'm not lying!

Again this is not real! The best day of my life would be if I got a pet talking otter. I called it Ottey it was a sea otter not a giant river otter. That day unfortunately is not realL. Ottey was brown with a black spot on his back; he was actually small for an otter because real otters are 4 feet long.    

When I was outside I saw a small brown lump. I went over to the lump to see was it was. Half way there I realized it was an otter! But what was an otter doing out in the desert? I picked him up and ran inside. My mom saw that I was holding an otter and asked why. I said I don't know and that I just found him outside on the ground. We went to the vet and they said he would be just fine.

However the most surprising thing was that he was wearing tags! That said he was from another state! But his owner was deadL. So we got to keep him. One day while my mom had to go to bishop and I was alone with Ottey I said to myself how did you get out here? Then I heard Ottey say skydiving. That's funny I said. I thought you said skydiving. "I did", said Ottey. Then I lost consciousness. When I woke up I said did you just talk? He said actually I did 2 hours ago.

So you're a talking otter!? I said. Yes replied Ottey. Then I asked do you watch TV? No said Ottey. Then I turned on the TV. It was on SpongeBob. About half way through the show Ottey said: I knew I talked but sponges to!? I said it's not real. But then why do I see a talking sponge? said Ottey. I said it actually drawings' going from one to another so fast it looks like it's moving and the images are being put in to the TV by signals. Then Ottey said why are sponges yellow, I said I don't know. Right as I said that my mom came home.

None of this is real. The otter's name was Ottey not Ottery, Ottey. I've only passed out once after falling on my head.

 

My First Ride!!!

By Karlie

I remember when my mom taught me how to ride a bike. I remember it was in fall so there were a lot of leaves, and it was cool, so I was wearing a jacket. So my mom was raking up leafs, so there were piles everywhere.

I also remember that I just got my training wheels off, and the first thing my mom taught was keeping my balance. But it was hard so I kept falling in the leaves. And finally my mom gave me a little push and there I went. I was so excited! Then after that day everytime I had to ride my bike I did.

When I Learned How to Play ‘Need for Speed’

By Isai

I remember the time that Jorge taught me to play Need for Speed. Once, Jorge taught me how to play Need for Speed. I was ten years old on my birthday it was afternoon. I was sitting on the couch he told me to come to the room. I went to the room and he told me ha-ha look what I got. He told me that if wanted to play I need to give him $2. I gave him $2 he made me my own file. I got this black Camaro with purple flames.

It was pretty fast to be one of the first cars you get. It said ISAI on the back then I sold it for an evolution. I couldn't beat anyone then now I'm pretty good at it. I beat almost every boss except for the dude with a red car. That is how I learned to play Need for Speed Carbon.

Ms. Becky

By Aly

I remember when my kindergarten teacher, Ms. Becky, taught me how to read. I was about six or seven years old. I was going to Montessori Academy, where we're supposed to learn at our own pace.

Anyway, I really wanted to learn how to read. And even though we were just touching the base of reading, I still wanted to learn. "Ms. Becky" I started out "Can you teach me how to read?"

"Sure" She replied with a smile. We spent about a hour practicing how to read.

Anyway, that's my memory of how to read. And I think it's a great memory.

Using a Bike

By Yareli

I remember when my dad taught me how to use a bike. When my dad was teaching me I fell off a lot of times. The first time that I was going to get on it I was scared because I didn't want it to fall.

When I was five years old my dad put training wheels. The first thing that my dad told me to do was to put a foot up and the other one down and to push. And then my dad use to hold me and he would let me go. And that's how I learn to ride a bike.

I Remember

By Avi

I remember when my dad taught me how to ride a bike. It was in the summer and there were flowers everywhere. He took my bike out of the garage. Then he put it on our porch. He said try to ride it by yourself with the training wheels on. So I rode it by myself. It was easy with training wheels on.

Then my dad took the training wheels off. And told me to try to ride and I fell off. Then I got on again and my dad held on to it. Then I started riding it with my dad holding on to it. The scary part was when my dad let go of the bike. Every time I tried it and it became easier to ride. I really wasn't good at turning or stopping at first. But after a while it became really easy. Even though it was hard at first I still learned anyways. And I'm still proud of myself.

I Remember When I Learned To Ride a Bike

By Angela

I remember when my sister taught me how to ride a bike. We were outside playing and Kenya got her bike. She looked like she was having so much fun. I asked her if I could try and she said "sure", I got on and then I fell.

She laughed at me and then helped me up and helped me back on the bike. This time she held on to the bike she was pushing the bike but she was getting tired. She told me to put my feet on the peddle and to peddle. So I did and she kept pushing me. It was really fun.

I thought I was getting the hang of it until my sister said she was going to let go. The idea seemed scary to me at first. When she let go I lost my balance and fell. I wanted to try again though so I did. The second time was better she let go and I lost my balance at first but I did not fall. Instead I was still going I was so happy at that moment I know I got it, I know how to ride a bike!

An Awesome Memory

By Jacob

I remember when Daniel taught me how to snowboard. He said to keep my weight 75% to the front and 25% to the back and I took off. Daniel told me that I was a natural. Then he put me with Genesee, Paul, and Harmie (the instructor). I was beating them to the bottom before we went in for lunch. After lunch I was grabbing air with high schoolers. I was proud of myself and I can't wait to go again.

Will there be a sequel to Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess?

By: Jonathan

Although it may seem there is no way to continue twilight princess Nintendo is actually making a sequel. And Minda actually might be in there. But unfortunately Link isn't in Hyrule. He might go back though because there's actually a lot they can do with that, (he could go unconscious again). But all I know is that there will be a sequel but not when it will come out. I also know that the master sword will be used by Link again but someone will die… but who? Will Gannon be in there? Will Minda is in there? Who will die? There was also something about someone coming back, but whom?

Open Campus!

By Aly

We should have open campus lunch. And here are three good reasons why.

First, we've proved our selves plenty to our principal. I mean, we ate hot lunch for, oh about 6, 7 years. And lets face it some; of the food they serve isn't as good as it could be. And yes there is some good food, but maybe we don't want to eat that, that exact day. But maybe we do.

Also, studies prove that school lunch isn't all that healthy. Did you know that a lot of schools, maybe even this one, serve a bunch of salt in the hot lunches? And a lot of nutritionist says it's better to eat a salad or go out to eat, where they don't put salt or pepper in the food. And a lot of parents agree.

Lastly, a lot of food is just processed cow fat. And they're not the healthy fat either! Now would you like to eat processed cow fat? And the results also show that 99% of kids are fatter then they should be. And also I heard from a anonymous source, that their will be no school sports next year. Now I know what you're thinking 'what's does sports have to do with lunch' simple well if we keep on eating fat cow meat, and we have no where to burn the fat, well we'll just become fat!

There are my 3 reasons, bout why we should have open campus lunch!

Open campus?

By Katie

Open Campus Lunch! Can you believe, it we finally get a chance to explain why we should get open campus lunch. Our assignment was to explain why or why not we should have open campus lunch. I think we should have open campus lunch.

First, we haven't been able to defend our selves' grades k-6. Now we are in the seventh grade and more matured. So there wouldn't be any problems letting us out. And to make sure of it you could put a teacher in every restaurant to make sure we are good and behaved. We are mature enough that we don't need it, but we need to earn your trust.

Second, if we hate hot lunch we don't eat it. Then we starve because we are sick of what we don't like. If we had open campus lunch we could go and eat what we do like. Even though you don't get the money and they do it still benefits us. It benefits us because when the restaurants get more money and support our school. Like the Renaissance cards. So, more money for them, more activities for us. Yeah! And even better supplies.

Third and final reason is, if we don't have money for restaurants or our lunch and we live nearby. We can walk to our house and eat for free at home. If w eat at home when were out of money we don't starve. And even though we can eat without money you might not want to owe the school money. Thanks for reading. Consider it please.

Don’t go off campus!

By Jon

Students shouldn't be allowed to go off campus for lunch. One reason is maturity. Another is distance. The last is availability.

People like Chad aren't mature. He says he likes to play with his elbow because it sounds like … well … let's just say girls don't have one. He also might say something wrong to a complete stranger… and hey they won't know him why should they hold back? Someone might lose track of time and be really late to. Do you really want people like that to go off campus?

With distance the only one close enough for some people is Carl's Jr.

Also their chicken tastes like cardboard! If someone wants to go to Mc Donald's the only way they could get there in time is if their parents drove them. Do you think their parents would want to come to school every day and already have to come at three anyway to pick up their kids! If you did it would be easier to make every day half days. But then kids would have to be in school 360 days! That would be bad for teachers & students! It would also mean only a 5 day summer vacation! (No one would want that!)

Lastly you don't want to eat Carl's Jr. every day. It would be easier just to eat school lunch. Why: school lunch is different every day. It's actually cheaper to eat school lunch to. Also school is closer (especially when you're in school.) Hopefully that was enough.

Don't allow students to go off campus. For safety. For laziness (ha ha.) Lastly for parents. Don't go off campus.

JL Which one? I mean off campus or on campus?